Robert hadn’t slept properly in fourteen months.
Not really.
Not since the second office opened in Singapore.
Since then, his life had become airport lounges, boardrooms, spreadsheets at two in the morning and a phone that seemed determined to vibrate every time he closed his eyes.
He was 52, successful, respected and very, very tired.
At 1:47 one morning, while everyone else in the world seemed to be asleep, Robert found the Thai Adult bABy Nursery website.
He wasn’t really looking for anything.
Then he read one sentence:
“Here, you can sit back and relax knowing that everything you need will be taken care of.”
He read it twice.
Then he booked three days.
No meetings.
No business dinners.
No laptop.
And, most importantly, no decisions.
Arriving at the nursery
The drive to Surin seemed to take him further and further away from the life he had been living.
When he finally arrived, Mummy was waiting for him at the gate.
There were no forms thrust into his hands.
No questions about business.
No discussion about his company.
Mummy simply smiled.
“You must be tired, sweetheart. Come inside.”
Something about those words nearly made him cry.
His room was just as he had imagined it.
A beautiful solid wooden cot.
A soft playpen filled with toys.
A rocking horse beside the window.
A highchair waiting for mealtimes.
Soft baby clothes hanging neatly in the wardrobe.
And, most importantly, no desk.
No computer.
No clock staring at him from the wall.
His phone went into a drawer.
“For the next three days,” Mummy said, “you don’t need to worry about anything.”
Robert smiled nervously.
He wasn’t sure he remembered how to do that.
Becoming Mummy’s baby
The first hour was surprisingly difficult.
He kept looking towards the drawer where his phone was hidden.
He wondered about emails.
He wondered what was happening at the office.
He wondered whether everyone was managing without him.
Mummy seemed to understand.
“You don’t have to be the boss here,” she said gently.
That sentence stayed with him.
Then Nanny appeared with a bottle of warm milk.
“Come along, baby. Time to relax.”
Robert laughed.
Actually laughed.
It felt strange.
And wonderful.
He climbed into the playpen, pulled his legs up underneath him and took the bottle.
There was a teddy beside him.
A wooden puzzle.
A little elephant.
Outside, he could hear birds singing and the gentle creak of a swing.
For once, nobody was asking him to make a decision.
Nobody wanted a report.
Nobody wanted a presentation.
Nobody wanted him to solve a problem.
He finished his bottle and looked around.
“This is ridiculous,” he said, smiling.
Mummy laughed.
“Perhaps. But you’re smiling.”
He was.
Then came nappy time
Later that morning, Mummy gently reminded him that it was time for a nappy change.
Robert suddenly felt shy.
He had worn nappies for years, but being cared for by someone else was different.
Mummy made the whole thing feel completely natural.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you nice and clean.”
There was no embarrassment.
No fuss.
Just warmth, fresh powder, a clean terry nappy and plastic pants, and the reassuring feeling of being looked after.
When he was dressed again, Mummy gave him a cuddle.
“There we are. Much better.”
Robert grinned.
Somewhere along the way, something inside him had begun to loosen.
Lunch in the highchair
Lunch was served in the highchair.
Real food.
Nothing fancy.
Just good nursery food, prepared with care and served slowly.
Robert found himself enjoying every minute.
He wasn’t eating between meetings.
He wasn’t answering emails with one hand.
He wasn’t watching the clock.
He simply sat there while Mummy chatted with him.
After lunch came another nappy change, followed by a little playtime.
Robert discovered that he was surprisingly competitive when it came to wooden building blocks.
He built a tower.
Mummy knocked it over.
“Hey!”
They both burst out laughing.
He built another.
This one lasted about thirty seconds.
Then it came crashing down.
Robert laughed so hard he had to wipe tears from his eyes.
He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed like that.
The afternoon nap
Eventually Mummy noticed him rubbing his eyes.
“Someone’s getting sleepy.”
“I’m not tired.”
Mummy raised an eyebrow.
Five minutes later Robert was being tucked into his crib.
The room was quiet.
The curtains were partly closed.
His teddy was tucked beside him.
He expected his mind to start racing.
Instead, he fell asleep.
Three hours later he woke up feeling almost confused.
He hadn’t slept like that in years.
Mummy was there when he opened his eyes.
“Good morning, sleepyhead.”
Robert smiled.
“How long was I asleep?”
“Long enough.”
She gave him a fresh nappy and helped him into his little romper.
Then came cuddles.
A bottle.
And a very happy baby.
Day two
By the second morning, Robert had stopped looking for his phone.
That was when he knew something had changed.
He woke up excited.
Not excited about a business deal.
Not excited about a new project.
Excited because he knew there would be breakfast, cuddles, playtime, nappy changes, toys and Mummy.
He chose a little blue romper from his bag.
It was something he had bought months earlier but had never been brave enough to wear.
Mummy helped him get dressed.
“You look lovely.”
Robert looked at himself and smiled.
For once, he didn’t worry about what anyone else might think.
A trip to the park
That morning he asked Mummy if they could go to the park.
So he climbed into the pushchair.
Mummy tucked a little blanket around him and set off.
The world looked different from there.
Children were playing.
Birds were singing.
The trees moved gently in the breeze.
People smiled as they passed.
Robert found himself smiling back.
He wasn’t an executive.
He wasn’t somebody’s boss.
He wasn’t responsible for hundreds of people.
He was simply Robert, out with his Mummy, enjoying being a baby.
“How does it feel?” Mummy asked.
Robert thought for a moment.
“Like I’ve finally stopped holding my breath.”
Mummy smiled.
“That’s what I hoped.”
Back at the nursery, there was another nappy change, lunch and then an afternoon filled with toys.
Rocking horse.
Swing.
Playpen.
Teddy.
Bottle.
Cuddles.
And plenty of laughter.
Nothing important happened.
And somehow, that was the most important thing of all.
The last morning
On the final morning, Robert sat quietly in the nursery with Mummy and Nanny.
He knew he had to leave.
His phone would eventually have to come out of the drawer.
The emails would still be waiting.
The meetings would return.
The airport lounges.
The spreadsheets.
The endless decisions.
Nanny looked at him.
“What are you taking home with you?”
Robert thought about it.
Then he smiled.
“Permission.”
“Permission?”
“Permission to rest. Permission to be looked after. Permission to stop pretending I always have to be strong.”
He looked around the nursery.
“I came here thinking I wanted to be a baby again.”
He paused.
“I think what I really wanted was to feel loved and cared for.”
Mummy reached over and gave him a cuddle.
“And you did.”
Robert nodded.
“Yes. I did.”
Before leaving, he had one final bottle, one final cuddle and one final nappy change.
His little blue outfit was carefully folded into his suitcase.
He didn’t feel embarrassed about it anymore.
He felt happy.
He felt lighter.
And, for the first time in fourteen months, he felt rested.
At the airport, Robert finally switched his phone back on.
47 new emails.
He looked at the screen.
Then he smiled.
For once, they could wait.
He was already thinking about Christmas.
Two whole weeks at the nursery.
More playtime.
More cuddles.
More bottles.
More adventures.
More days being Mummy’s baby.
And perhaps, one day, a much bigger decision.
He had begun to wonder what life might be like if he stopped being the executive all the time…
and simply allowed himself to be Robert.
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